What I Saw in the Mirror
My mirror yesterday was one of my tennis students. I had given this fellow some lessons last summer and knew he was very demanding. He’s been trying to learn to hit topspin when he plays instead of just chopping the ball. I tried to explain the correct method, but I could intuit immediately that he was too angry to hear anything.
I began hitting him balls and he attacked them like he was enraged at each ball he hit. Of course, this just exacerbated his technique problems and the harder he hit the more he sprayed tennis balls all over creation. I tried to explain to him that he had to change his goals (like a good sports psychologist) from a performance goal to a learning goal, but to no avail, he kept on banging away like he was angry with the world.
When I stepped back from the situation after the lesson, I could see how many times I’ve focused on the outcome with such intensity (and many times anger) that I was fighting against getting to where I wanted to be. So next time I played myself I asked one of my college players to hit for a while and decided to try to enter into the experience with no investment in the outcome (i.e. how well I played) and it was one of the most enjoyable hours I’ve spent on the court in years. Now all I have to do is apply that lesson to the rest of my life.
~ by Keith Coleman